o que eu posso fazer se está engasgado?

corny

celestial powder,
must be
stardust!
(that light that shines
so bright in his eyes.)

close to home...

in his sleep,
eyelids heavenly shut...
i can't help but watch.

he must,
he lays
his head
close to my heart.

body down the matress,
- chest, perfect pillow -
close to my home.

i've seen everything, the world hit the rocks, her life wrecking, sinking like a ship, no life jacket no rescue boat, it wasn't cold after all, it was warm, January, i had all those thoughts that i could not help but think, every time i wanted to forget i would remember, endless back-firing effort: thinking about it made it whole, thick, it was there consuming me with inhuman efficiency, it burned my sleep my eyes, no tears - guess i was dry after all, as dry as she said i was. i had no help but write and watch the night, watch every little dead thing die more, i was hopping to grow stronger but i was every single one of those dead things, i had no soul anymore, no armor, i had no dark place to hide! hide my shame, hide all my things. i was exposed, way too much, no mystery, she had me guessed from back to forth, head to toe, i was bare. anyway, leaving all clichés behind, i - as always - only had myself, my bad words and those thoughts, dense as lead, heavy, senseless and the solutions to everything, and the resolutions for the future and how they are always equal to problems.

limpo.
limpo.
limpo.
limpo.
limpo.
limpo.
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limpo.

he must not fear
i am already as insane as i could ever be

(genetics ;D)

bitterness made it all wrong.

so did silence,
in spoonfuls,
force-fed down our throats.

it wasn't like skin peeled off...
it burned more like
thousands of little glass fragments
shattered,
carved on delicate wrists.

like
hundreds of tiny
- tiny-iny-shiny -
(milimeters)
papercuts.

i trust you to kill me

todas as cenas patéticas, as demonstrações inférteis de interesse, bêbadas, sôfregas... tudo isso pode ser esquecido. eu já deixei pra lá as suas cenas (todas elas), deixe as minhas para o bem de minha paz, sim?

ai ai. deveria te enviar isso. terei coragem? minha mente não desafoga há tempos, digo logo que preciso de resposta.

nós que já quase morremos por tantas tolices... você sangrou por quanto tempo? bem, não queremos discutir mais essas velhas feridas. temos muita história, só isso. gosto de relembrar.

mas só nos resta poucos meses, um ano, no máximo, e não temos tempo para perder remoendo essas filosofias-meia-boca. não quero que isso soe póstumo, até porque não estamos morrendo, mas, afinal, estaremos morrendo. não eu e não você, mas ambos.

isso mal é uma carta, é um fragmento. acompanhe comigo, sim? não se deixe perder pelo meio do caminho. não quero mais lembrar, mas também me recuso a esquecer, sabe como é, resolver esquecer é relembrar novamente... está difícil pra mim, cara,

esquecer.

passageira é a glória do mundo, então, pros diabos com tudo isso! você vai embora de uma vez por todas, então responde... - pelo tanto que você fala e fala - porque, quando sonhas, não é comigo?

abraço,
fk

so i'm always working on new grand ways to avoid
doing any work on everything
that could amount to anything

turn gravity back on, please

filthy glasses all over, some filled with nasty, smelly, brown water 'cause they were used as ashtrays. nicotine tints water like a deadly paint, you know? yet, there are cigarette butts all over the wooden floor too, there are never ashtrays enough. boy, your momma is not gonna like that at all when she comes back, glorious and tanned, from that old-people cruise.

this chair i'm sitting, once fancy and pompous (just like your famous-and-rich-to-be ass) is now old, dirty, soggy with beer and sweat and what-the-fuck-else fluids people spilled here.

well. what time is it? when did all the people go home? fuck, this was one hell of a party. shit, my neck hurts. motherfucking chair... do you have an eight-ball around? i need a fix so i can get my party mood back on...

no? okay, my motherfucking beloved, happy new year. and now the old world is a new world, hu? i am going to the liquor store, want something apart from beer? no? okay. you're full of noes tonight. don't wait up for me.